Almost Done!

So I’m sitting here in the library trying to finish my paper for English 24: Shakespeare I.  It’s the last thing I have to do for this term and if I can finish writing it today I’d be pretty stoked.

I used to not mind writing papers, but now its sorta become a pain in the ass.  Or maybe its just because my professor this term doesn’t accept bad bullshit.  I tried that once and it didn’t work out so well.  I think I can safely make the conclusion that I’m just a lazy bastard and as soon as I actually have to do work and research for a damn paper, I say I hate papers.

On another note, I’m really happy that when I finish this paper, I’ll be able to chill in Boston for a couple of days before flying back to California.  It’s snowing here, so I’m especially missing California and I love the idea of walking outside in shorts and a T-shirt, not having to put on long johns and 2 sweatshirts and boots everytime I want to go out.

Saw Jay Chou’s new movie “Secret” yesterday at the DTA term dinner.  Some parts of it are kinda cheesy, but overall I actually liked the movie.  There are a lot of parts in it that are pretty funny and I guess I’m also kind of a sucker for Asian romantic comedies.   I liked it enough to look for it online…but I couldn’t find one that was region 1 so I just got the movie files from DTA instead.  If anyone wants to see it, let me know…

OK I really should try to finish this paper if I want to head down to Boston this weekend.

Basketball and Taiwan

Hey–been awhile, hasn’t it?

Don’t know why I’m starting again, just randomly felt like writing this down somewhere.  I just told it to two of my friends, but I guess that didn’t suffice.

I was playing basketball just now, and these 2 guys came over and wanted to play 3v3.  They sucked.  I had both of them on my team, but we won anyway.  After we won, some people left and we only had 4 people left.  I didn’t really want to play 2’s, because I guess I’m kind of snobby and it wouldn’t have been fun for any of us, I don’t think.  But anyway, to make a long story short, I was talking to those two new guys, you know, the usual (Where you from? Whats your major? etc.)  and then somehow it came out that they were both “chinese.”  I then asked them if they were Taiwanese or Chinese.  One of the guys said immediately right in my face that it was the same thing, that there was no distinction.  I was shocked…I was like–what?! Then he was like in 50 years, they’re going to be one and the same.  I told him to go fuck himself.  Not even joking, I actually said that to him.  I then told them I didn’t really want to play because it wouldn’t be that fun.  I said jokingly (but not really) that I would just dominate them.  They disagreed.  I was like “you wanna bet?” And he said “yea.”  I told him I’d bet him 500 bucks.  He said that was too much (being a snob again, and this is quite stupid, but I was being immature and I thought to myself “chicken shit poor bastard”).  I said 50 instead.  He said he’d bet me his self-esteem.  HAHAHA.  I said fine I’ll take that, then knocked off 11 straight points and left those fuckers wondering what him them.  11-0.  God I just ranted that entire thing–its written like a stream of consciousness but I don’t give a shit.  It just sorta feels good.

Sad Times :-(

I’m really sad that BT is over.  I’m gonna miss doing…

Baby shark, do-do-do-dooooooo

Spirit Check

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OtvULw47RQ

Presentation of Learning

Description:

As Breakthrough is a “workshop in education,” we recognize that both the students and teachers undergo a tremendous learning experience. As teachers, you’ve learned about the craft of teaching, the nature of middle school students, the struggles of being part of a diverse and talented corps of educators, and most of all, about yourself. It sometimes takes days, months, and even years to truly reflect on how this experience has shaped your life.

Presentations of Learning are designed as a time for you to share your insights about your experiences with the entire summer staff. You may choose to capture your transformation throughout the course of the summer as a whole or focus on a singular moment of clarity.

As with teaching, your presentation of learning should be carefully and thoughtfully planned. It’s your moment in the spotlight. You will have the entire staff’s attention and it will be your final presentation to the group.

So…with that said, here’s the outline of my POL (note-taking style):

Intro–On the POL sheet, it says be true to your style. I’m straightforward, not so creative, etc. So I’m just gonna talk.

1) Talk about how I came to Breakthrough

My senior year of highschool

Went to info session at Dartmouth

Why did I apply?

I tutored some math in h.s. I loved the feeling of reward when somebody understood what I was trying to teach them.

I also had a math tutor in middle school who completely shaped me up. I used to be a lousy student. But through math, I became a good student–>Not just in math…it spread to everything I did.

2) So when it came time to figure out what to do with my summer…Business internship vs. Breakthrough?

All my friends who are econ majors got internships with business in NYC, Boston, etc. Insurance companies, investment banks, etc.

I knew that growing up, my biggest problem was always human relations

It always takes me a long time to get to know someone and become friends with them.

The way I am–> quiet, shy, reserved…I’ve been told I have an angry resting face.

So this all factored into my decision…Business internship (maybe) would have given me more experience in the field. It might have looked better on my resume. But…did I want something fancy? Fancy in just title? Or did I want to actually do something?

I chose Breakthrough (it was the only thing I applied to) b/c…a) I’d heard enough about the program to know that it would force me to be more outgoing. I’d have to work with kids, work with other faculty members, etc. b)I really liked the rewarding feeling that I got from teaching.

I have a mini family background in education. My mom is in business, but she teaches Chinese on the side. My uncle is a doctor/researcher/professor in Taiwan.

I’ve grown more than I ever have this summer by being like a kid

3) So now. Internally reflecting on my experience. What I’ve learned.

I’m disappointed with myself. Why? It’s my fault. Why?

The people on this faculty/staff…are truly AMAZING people. They are such good people. I want to know and be friends with each and every one of you. But in reality, I feel like I’ve only gotten to know a few of you. What bothers and frustrated me so much is that I’ve been unable to get past this surface level conversation, this formal, un-close relationship. I want to feel and experience something deeper, and its eluding me. I can’t depend or rely on other people to approach me. If I want something, I have to be the one to make things happen, especially when I know I’m the one that’s the recluse.

What I’ve learned about myself:

a) I’m afraid of other people judging me.

b) I’m afraid of what other people may think of me.

c) I’m scared to put myself out on a limb. I’m guarded. In fact, its hard for me right now to come out with all this so openly.

d) I’m afraid of offending people, so I often don’t say what I think. I just keep it to myself.

e) With the kids, I didn’t seem to have these problems. For some reason, they loosened me up and I wasn’t afraid of them judging me.

f) I need to relax and just be myself

g) It seems so obvious to me that these are my problems. But I couldn’t identify them until after this program.

It turns out I have low self-confidence, and I guess I was afraid that if I put myself out there, nobody would like me. But this program, the kids, they taught me otherwise.

Fully and specifically identifying the problem is a positive step in the right direction. I’m now trying to act on it (the next step), and I think I’m improving a bit.

So in the end, in Spring term I made the right decision to apply to(only) this program. I really have to thank Diosa for accepting me, even when I felt like my own personality and the personality of Breakthrough would clash. But that was part of why I wanted to do it. I realized that it was only in forcing myself, in making sure my personality clashed, that I would improve myself.

I’ve learned so much from this experience. I’m really glad that I was able to give something back to the community, rather than just doing something for the benefit of myself. My entire life, I’ve taken and taken and taken. I’ve never given back. If I took a business internship, it would again just be for the benefit of myself, to further my own knowledge and experience, not giving anything back to anybody.

Breakthrough…it really has been the most profound experience of my life thus far. I wanted to thank all of you for making it so.

Blogging resumed

Hello hello!

So…haven’t blogged in awhile.  After spring term ended, I was so burnt out that I just rested for a couple of weeks.  Many things have happened since then.

I got accepted into the Breakthrough Collaborative program at San Juan Capistrano.  The local chapter was actually held at St. Margaret’s, my high school alma mater.  So I got my stuff together and headed home to be a teacher for a summer.  It was strenuous, and for 2 months, Breakthrough dominated my life.  But those kids were worth every minute of sleep I lost.

Breakthrough just ended for me.  Yesterday, in fact.  I don’t want to elaborate too much on my experience as a teacher (feeling lazy right now), so all I’ll say is this: It was really one of the best experiences of my life.  My summer was EXTREMELY worthwhile, and I can safely say that I grew more by being like a kid.  If I get another chance, I will definitely apply to be a teacher again.

Now…I’m just looking forward to my trip to Boston/NYC with Jennifer and co.  I look forward to meeting up with Sumi and some of my other friends.

Almost done!

I’ve been sooooo incredibly busy these past few weeks.  But I’ve neglected blogging for far too long.  So here’s my 4 sentence blog.  I’m almost done with school–just a paper and some finals and I’m done!

NYT article

Just after I wrote that last post, look what I found on the NYT…

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/10/education/10harvard.html?_r=1&ref=education&oref=slogin

Learning and Learning How to Think

So…every year thousands of high school seniors stress out about college apps. They worry about their grades and if they’ll be good enough, they worry about the quantity and quality of their activities, and they worry about their essays. Given that college is an important step in any person’s life and given that today’s world is increasingly globalized and competetive, this is to be expected. I myself was caught up in the frenzy when I was in high school.

Up until now, things haven’t changed much. Even in college, I still stress out about grades, calculate my GPA every so often, and worry about my lack of campus activities. In fact, I seriously feel as if sometimes the grade is all I care about. I don’t know. When does it end?

I think college is more than just grades and activities. College is a time to learn and to learn how to think. Regardless of the grade, these are the important things that will serve us for the rest of our lives. For example, I think my intro finance course has been a wonderful experience thus far. Not only have I learned about America’s financial system, I’ve learned how to think…sort of. This is kind of hard to articulate, but throughout the class, the professor has constantly challenged us to think about the financial system in different perspectives, and I’ve made important discoveries of my own in regards to finding the solution(s) to any given problem.

So…I think that is the direction I need to pursue–one in which I strive to learn how to think and forget about my grades. It’s easier said than done, and I know I’ll probably still care about my grades. But I believe identifying the problem is an important step to initiating change.

NBA: Racial Bias in Calling Fouls

Last night, while watching the TNT Doubleheader of Spurs-Nuggets and Suns-Lakers, Charles Barkley talked about a new report that claimed there was racial bias in the calling of fouls in the NBA. So…White officials more likely to call fouls on Black players and vice versa. Charles Barkley went on to say that the writer of the report was from Cornell, and being an Ivy League man, he had “book sense,” but no common sense. Charles Barkley further mentioned that because at any given time 90% of the players on the basketball floor are black, the study was flawed.

Now–I love Charles Barkley, I think he’s a great NBA commentator and I love Inside The NBA…but he’s got to have more common sense to know that a study published in the Ivy League would know to take into account that most NBA players are black. Indeed, the study does.

However, I do agree with Chuck in that I don’t think there is any racial bias in the calling of fouls in the NBA. Correlation does not equal causation (one of the only things I’ve learned in stats this term), and after watching my own fair share of NBA games (seriously too many to count…I’ve been a fan of the NBA since I was born), I know enough about the game to say with confidence that 90% of the time, the calls that the referees make are accurate and consistent. In any NBA game, whenever there is any question as to the accuracy of a call made by a referee, there is a replay–slow motion, zoomed in, with commentary by the legendary Chuck. 9 times out of 10, the call made by the referee is a good one. The players themselves say they don’t sense any racial bias in the officiating of the game. So, if NBA players–the whiniest professional athletes in the world–say they don’t sense any racial bias, there probably isn’t any.

Here’s the article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/02/sports/basketball/02refs.html?em&ex=1178337600&en=c96d8dab57b309ac&ei=5087%0A